You Are More

Sometimes there are songs that I hear and relate so much to, either in myself or those around me that I love and care about.  This is one of those songs.  The referenced verse is
Colossians 1:13-14
"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
http://youtu.be/iRvdcqfSHXo

You Are More
by: Tenth Avenue North

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?
You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you
.This is not about where you've been,
 But where your brokenness brings you to
This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
 You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made, You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create, You've been remade.
You've been remade You've been remade. You've been remade.You've been remade.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/you-are-more-lyrics-tenth-avenue-north.html#ixzz1nFjCCVjW
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

Building Up My House

Proverbs 14:1
The wisest of women build her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Recently I've reflected on ways in which I can continue to grow in my Christian life as a wife, mother, and child.  This world can make us so hard, and plays tricks on us - promising satisfaction and contentment but it never ever does. 

Reading in Luke this morning, Jesus lays out the ways in which to live, and how to perceive hardships.  The answers are so simple but to apply them in our own strength is impossible.

Luke 6:20-45 Then He lifted up His eyes toward His disciples, and said: Blessed are you poor, For yours is the kingdom of God.21 Blessed are you who hunger now, For you shall be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, For you shall laugh.22 Blessed are you when men hate you, And when they exclude you, And revile you, and cast out your name as evil, For the Son of Mans sake.23 Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven, For in like manner their fathers did to the prophets.24 But woe to you who are rich, For you have received your consolation.25 Woe to you who are full, For you shall hunger. Woe to you who laugh now, For you shall mourn and weep.26 Woe to you when all men speak well of you, For so did their fathers to the false prophets.

27 But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away your goods do not ask them back. 31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.32 But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.37 Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.

39 And He spoke a parable to them: Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into the ditch? 40 A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher. 41 And why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? 42 Or how can you say to your brother, Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye, when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brothers eye.43 For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44 For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. 45A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

God is continually revealing to me thru His Word, how much I need to extend and practice grace to my children. 

Yesterday the boys were arguing about specifics related to a kickball game they were playing outside.  As I overheard their tone and their words I recognized something.  I heard a lot of myself in their emotional & somewhat harsh words. At that point, I had two choices on how to handle this. 

One was that I could wing it and talk them thru this incident with my head knowledge, end up getting frustrated by the lack of success or I could bring them(and myself) to God's Word to reveal the heart issues they  (and I) were struggling with.  I decided God's Word was the correct path to take.   

It was a great experience for us all.  We all learned something together.  I didnt have to pretend that I knew all the answers.  I never have and I never will.  But we serve an all-knowing, powerful, amazing God who does.  And He left us with a mighty resource we can go to for any issue we face in this life.  

I saw this posting on pinterest this morning and it reminded me of the role God placed me in.  As a mom, I'm supposed to be nurturing, loving, kind, gentle, soft.  This world has made me hard at times, especially in my life before I was given the gift of grace by my Creator.  In difficult times my reflex reaction is to go to that hard place, but I need to practice remaining constant - to practice constraint, and to be that example of tenderness, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, virtuous, purity, and love that is missing in this world.


He makes everything beautiful in its time.  Ecclesiastes 3:11

Popcorn & Ballantyne

Isn't that a beautiful cover?  I love these books!

For the past couple of weeks, we have been spending a dedicated half hour to reading aloud.   We decided that we would read, The Coral Island by R.M. Ballantyne primarily because it is the only book we have a duplicate copy of.   (We got ours from Vision Forum who sent us a second copy by accident and told us we could keep it!)


I look forward to this time everyday.  I love hearing my little boys reading aloud and I love the challenge of difficult words adding to their vocabulary (and mine!) 

I love J's face in this picture.  He's very caught up in
the story!

The story of The Coral Island is so well written, the plot is captivating, and it's a clean family friendly book.

Quick Confession:  This book is above the boy's reading levels...and possibly mine.  We've had to look up the pronounciation and definitions for some of the words so we can make sense of the story and its details.  (Yesterdays words were cogitations; which means concerted thought or reflection; meditation; contemplation
and precipitately; which means to cast, plunge, or send, especially violently or abruptly).

Little Mr.  woke up right before we
started reading yesterday.

If you are curious, our reading time looks like this.  We each take a turn reading aloud.  Whoever is reading gets to hold a copy of the book as I read along and assist or correct (as needed).  I get to spend this time as the dedicated cuddler with whomever isnt reading and with my littlest ones (if the youngest one wakes up in time from his afternoon nap).

Little Miss's pink princess popcorn bowl!

Yesterday I added another element to our reading time.  We made popcorn.  This was a hit!  The kids chomped on the popcorn and as we finished another chapter we were ready to finish up our afternoon chores and get the house ready for Mike to get home. 

He can't wait to have some popcorn.  He says he likes the kind with butter on it the best. 

Thanks to Victoria Botkin for this wonderful idea which is enriching our homeschooling and building our relationships together as a family!

I can't wait to read again tomorrow to find
out what's going to happen!

Psalm 23:6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.  And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. 

A Season of Blessing (and cuddles)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

This week the Lord has been revealing to me that I have had a wrong perspective in my day to day routine.  My children are all very young and I feel like I am in survival mode each day.  But what I am missing are these sweet tender moments that only last but a quick while. 

I realized while reading/listening to Victoria Botkins "She Shall Be called Woman" that we should have a cheerful countenance.  We have much to be thankful for. 

Rejoice in the LORD always, again I will say, Rejoice!  Philippians 4:4
Being cheerful purposefully sets us up to enjoy the sweet moments and it also draws us into God's grace. It brings forth in me a thankful attitude for everything that I have. 

To list a few: 
I serve a God who saved me, loves me, and takes care of every need I have. 
A loving, patient husband who loves the Lord with all his heart.
A wonderful marraige where, we have full trust in each other - we have similar goals/visions for our family. 
Five healthy amazing children.
A safe home in a nice neighborhood with appliances and technology which help me with my daily chores. 
Freedom to homeschool my children so that I can raise them up in the nurture & admonition of the Lord. 
Inspiration and resources to prepare for my family good foods which will nurture their bodies and their spirit. 
A fantastic church and church family which encourage me to be a better mom/wife to my family and child to God. 
Wonderful friends who support me, pra for me, rejoice with me in times of celebration, and cry with me in times of trials. 

Sometimes though I fall into the black hole of this world which is unrealistic expectations, from myself and from my family.  I get easily discouraged or angered because the things or lists of things I want to accomplish don't happen.  God is revealing to me how this type of behavior is not acceptable and that I will be leaving a legacy of misery and consequence to my children.


And David said to God, Was it not I who commanded the people to be numbered? I am the one who has sinned and done evil indeed; but these sheep, what have they done? Let Your hand, I pray, O Lord my God, be against me and my fathers house, but not against Your people that they should be plagued.
1Chronicles 21:17
Although this situation with David is a tad bit different from my circumstances (just a bit), I felt my heart twinge a bit.  That twinge I've found is normally the Holy Spirit helping to refine me in various areas of my life.  So I reflected on this verse and was reminded of the way I carry myself or react to situations with my family.  I need to take a breath, constantly remind myself of what I have to be thankful for, and serve my God and my family with joy! 

But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

I only have a quick season to enjoy my children in this way.  Where they can crawl into my lap and read - or cuddle - or chit chat about their favorite games, toys.  This season only lasts a short season in their lives and then it changes.  I want to make the most out of every minute!  It is my prayer that God would take this season, let me fully appreciate it, and use it to bring Him glory. I pray that my children would grow knowing God and live their lives dedicated to bringing God glory.  That they would love God, that they would love each other, and that our family would be founded upon a Godly worldview which would be passed down from generation to generation.  I pray that the generational curses of our parents, and our parents parents would not have any further affect on my children and their children and their children and THEIR children!  And I pray that God would use my weaknesses to His benefit.  That I would continue to grow in my faith and that this process of refinement & pruning would be fruitful.

Satisfaction

Psalm 17 was in my quiet time this morning and I wanted to reflect on the recent convictions God placed on my heart and how Psalm 17 confirmed these things. 

v2 Let my vindication come from Your presence; Let Your eyes look on the things that are upright

It is only by God's grace that we have vindication (the act of being set free).  When we have been saved by something, in this case death/sin, naturally we should want to live lives worthy of the grace bestowed upon us.  So, I can understand David's request that God only look on the things in his life that are upright.  But God can see all!  He can see our weaknesses and the places where we may falter. 

v4-5 Concerning the works of men, By the word of Your lips, I have kept away from the paths of the destroyer. Uphold my steps in Your paths, That my footsteps may not slip
.
My life, before Jesus, was so chaotic.  I was on the path of destruction.  Looking back I see how badly I was trying to find footing and a foundation of steadiness, sturdiness.  But there was no way I could find that in my worldly life.  I could not control my destiny no matter how hard I tried.  By the time God made Himself known to me I was a wreck.  Broken, confused, a mess.  But God drew me to Him and His gifts of salvation, grace and love. 

It has been a season of refinement in my faith.  God continually refines my walk.  I look back at the past (almost) 10 years and I am amazed at how far God has led me. 

v7-8 Show Your marvelous lovingkindness by Your right hand, O You who save those who trust in You From those who rise up against them. Keep me as the apple of Your eye; Hide me under the shadow of Your wings

Lately I have been struggling with heart issues where I have been trying to control my circumstances instead of letting God lead.  I liken this to trying to travel on a treadmill - We can expend a lot of energy towards getting someplace but we end up where we started but exhausted - no matter how hard or how long we run.  Through God's faithfulness and His Word I have been examining my actions, my words, the way I speak to my friends, family, children and I see how in my heart I have been too focused on the way things appear instead of finding opportunities to extend the grace God has given to me. 

v9-12 From the wicked who oppress me, From my deadly enemies who surround me. They have closed up their fat hearts; With their mouths they speak proudly. They have now surrounded us in our steps; They have set their eyes, crouching down to the earth, As a lion is eager to tear his prey, And like a young lion lurking in secret places.

As I read & reflect upon this verse I cant help but be reminded of this verse: 

1Peter 5:8  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

Its an intense visual.

v13 Arise, O Lord, Confront him, cast him down; Deliver my life from the wicked with Your sword,

Last year we studied and memorized Ephesians 6:1-24 which is the part of the bible that talks about the Armor of God.  The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God - I'm not sure if that is what this verse means, but it makes sense to me that my life is delivered by God's Word!  When I falter & make mistakes, God's Word (with the help of the Holy Spirit) helps me to see it and cut it out of my life!  When I get caught up in worldy things and my priorities get cloudy and confused - I can repent and get right by reading and meditating and praying by God's Word!  Its an amazing thing and I am so thankful for it (and for the Holy Spirit)!

v14 With Your hand from men, O Lord, From men of the world who have their portion in this life, And whose belly You fill with Your hidden treasure. They are satisfied with children, And leave the rest of their possession for their babes.
My heart responds to this verse.  If we only live our lives to try to be satisfied or comfortable in this world we will pass on a legacy of worldliness to our children, and future generations. 
 v15 As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.
 

But, it is my hope and prayer that I would live a life of faith - and that faithfulness (with continually refinement) would be passed down to future generations.  I am satisfied in the hope of living and worshipping my God forever.  I want to follow after God and His righteousness.  Everthing I need God can and will and has provided.

Lord, you are truly an amazing God.  Thank you for loving me and saving me from my sin.  Thank you for continually working in my life and extending your grace and mercy.  Cut the things out of my life that need pruning.  Cleanse my heart and my mind of thoughts that are destructive and evil.  Lead me in your truth, and help me worship you in all that I say & do.  Let me a live a life which brings honor and glory to you.  I pray for my children, and, my childrens children - that they would be saved by your amazing grace and that they would dedicate their lives to your service.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

As I was praying this song came to my mind. 
http://youtu.be/lQ93HVuYd5Y

Fasting from Facebook, Day 4

It is my hope to log and post how God uses this time away from facebook to help me grow in my relationship with Him.

Here is the back story: 

Last week I realized how much time facebook stole from me.  I also realized how ugly my thoughts were becoming, how judgemental and negative I was in so many situations.  I realized that I had little to no peace as I dragged thru each day.

Romans 8:6 says, For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

I was admittedly, carnally minded.  I was NOT walking beside my God.  I knew that I needed a change.  I needed to re-establish my steps.  I needed to repent, acknowledge my transgressions, my sinfulness, my pride.  I asked for my family's forgiveness and I was blessed with regaining their hearts.  My husband even told me that he has fasted and prayed for me earlier in the week because he could tell that there was a spiritual battle going on in my walk.  I am surely a blessed lady. 

So Thursday night I decided that I would take a month away from facebook.  I posted my "goodbye I'm taking a break message" and logged off. 

Strange enough forcing this break has shined the light of what a hold this silly thing called facebook has had on me.  I have found myself numerous times in the last 4 days tempted to log on (and in a few instances I have gone on the page only to feel guilty and log off).  How is it that this page - this silly insignificant webpage have such a hold on me?  

It is my hope that God would do a work within me to help me look to Him everytime I have an urging to check out the happenings of facebook.  That I would go and read a book with one of my children, hug them, grab my bible and read, or get on my knees and pray.

I also pray that I would find something that is neglected in my home and feel inspired and equipped to complete or fix it.  That I would be rejuvenated in my goals and my role as a wife and a mother.  That I would find my feet firm on God's foundation to be steady, steadfast, and at peace. 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus. Philippins 2:3-5

I plan on listening to lots of sermons this month, especially from Victoria Botkin, Ted Tripp, Voddie Baucham, Douglas Phillips.  I am also reading a few books but hope to hunker down with Large Family Logistics, She Shall Be Called Woman, Training a Childs Heart, and Passionate Housewives Desperate for God. 

My family when we met Pastor Voddie Baucham in Oct 2011

In listing how many wonderful fruitful things I hope to accomplish and with the accountibility I believe this blog will give me, I am so excited to see the great work of refinement God has in store for me! 






I would also hope that this blog would encourage anyone reading it to let go of the things of this world that may be bogging you down & preventing you from living your Christian walk in the way God desires you to!   If you need any encouragement or prayer, please message me,  I would be honored to join you in making your requests to our most faithful and wonderful Savior, Jesus Christ! 

My memory verse this week:
2Peter 1:5-8
Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are your and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.